After betrayal, heartbreak, or long-term disconnection, intimacy can feel confusing and unsafe — even when love is still present. In this article, therapist Raquel Perez explores how the body learns to protect, why desire disappears after hurt, and how trust and intimacy can be rebuilt through safety, attunement, and compassion.

For years, sex felt flat—not because something was wrong with my body, but because a part of me had learned it wasn’t safe to exist. In this piece, I explore how shame and silencing fracture our relationship to pleasure, and how reclaiming identity can gently restore intimacy, connection, and embodied joy.

When family doesn’t feel safe — especially during the holidays — it can awaken old wounds around belonging and identity. In this heartfelt reflection, therapist Raquel Perez shares her story of coming out at 39 and offers gentle, therapy-informed ways to create emotional safety, set boundaries, and find peace within yourself this season.