How Therapy and Self-Reflection Help You Heal Trauma and Grow Emotionally
Getting stuck in self-awareness without knowing how to heal or move forward is something I see often as a therapist
and something I’ve experienced personally.
The emotional overwhelm, the cycling thoughts, and the frustration of “I know what happened, but I don’t know what to do with it.”
Hi, I’m Raquel Perez, a licensed professional counselor in the state of Colorado and the founder of Intima Couples & Sex Therapy. I work with individuals who feel stuck in their healing journey—who have done the journaling, read the self-help books, and still feel like they can’t quite access the healing they long for. My approach is grounded in one central idea: healing begins with safety—and from that safety, we create the space for insight.
In this post, I want to walk you through a common question I hear from clients, what it brings up for me as a therapist, and a simple but powerful tool you can use to move from self-awareness to true emotional healing.
“I’m Aware of My Trauma… But I Don’t Know How to Heal It”
Here’s a message someone shared that might resonate with you:
“I’ve been watching so many videos on trauma healing. I journal. I try to stay positive. I’m aware of my childhood trauma, but I don’t know how to process it. I can’t remember all the details, and part of me thinks, ‘Was it even that bad?’ But I’m still left with depression and emotional pain. What do I do with it?”
This is such a common experience. Self-awareness is an important step in healing
but it’s not the final destination.
And when we stop there, we can begin to feel hopeless or even defective, like we should already be better just because we understand what happened.
Self-Awareness Without Safety Can Keep You Stuck
One of the most important patterns I’ve noticed both in my clinical work and in my personal healing journey is this:
Once we gain awareness of our trauma, we often try to minimize it or disconnect from the emotions attached to it.
This is a survival strategy. It makes sense.
Maybe you’ve heard yourself say things like:
“Yeah, I was bullied, but so were a lot of kids. It wasn’t that bad.”
“Sure, my parents fought a lot and sometimes yelled at me, but that was just normal back then.”
“Yes, I raised three kids alone, went to college full-time, and worked—no big deal.” (my story)
We tell ourselves these stories because fully feeling the truth of our pain can be overwhelming. But this distancing keeps us from healing. We stay stuck, knowing what happened but unable to feel what happened.
And here’s the thing: healing requires emotional connection to our experience—not just intellectual understanding.
From Insight to Healing: Safety First
When we minimize trauma or talk about painful experiences like we’re reading a grocery list, we are usually protecting ourselves from the emotional weight of our story.
I remember once recounting my own story as a single mother—working, going to school, and raising three kids—like it was just logistics. Until someone said, “That must’ve been so hard. How did you manage?” That moment cracked me open. I realized how emotionally disconnected I had become from my own pain.
Creating space to reflect with compassion and safety allowed me to reconnect to my story. And through that reflection, I began to notice the patterns that were still impacting me years later.
This is the work I do with my clients every day. Whether we’re working through childhood trauma, relationship wounds, anxiety, or emotional overwhelm, we start by building safety. And from that safe space, we begin the deeper self-reflection that leads to insight and emotional growth.
A Therapy-Informed Tool: Feel It, Name It, Release It
If you're ready to go beyond awareness and into healing, here's a simple tool you can try today.
🌿 Step 1: Feel It (Revisiting the Emotion)
Take a deep breath in… and slowly exhale.
Now, recall a recent moment that stirred something in you. It doesn’t have to be huge. Just something that left a mark—a conversation, a memory, even an Instagram post that made your chest tighten.
Ask yourself:
What’s happening in my body?
Where do I feel this? My throat? My stomach? My chest?
Just notice it. No fixing. No judgment.
📝 Step 2: Name It (Understanding the Emotion)
Now ask yourself:
What am I really feeling?
Is it sadness, or disappointment?
Is it anxiety, or fear?
Is it anger, or the pain of being unheard?
Then, fill in the blank:
“I feel _______ because _______.”
This is powerful. This brings the abstract into clarity.
💨 Step 3: Release It (Letting the Emotion Move Through You)
Place a hand over your heart. Breathe.
Ask:
What does this emotion need from me?
Do I need to express it in writing?
Do I need to cry? To scream in the car? To call a friend?
Do I need to set a boundary?
And then say:
“I see you. I hear you. I am safe to feel this.”
This is how we begin to move stuck energy. This is what emotional healing looks like in practice.
Therapy for Emotional Healing and Trauma Recovery in Colorado
If this exercise stirred something in you, you’re not alone.
You don’t have to navigate this journey by yourself. At Intima Couples & Sex Therapy, I offer trauma-informed, person-centered therapy for:
Emotional Healing & Trauma Recovery
Therapy for Depression & Anxiety
Relationship & Sex Therapy
Ketamine-Assisted Therapy for deeper insight
Sessions are available in-person in Lakewood, Colorado and virtually across the state of Colorado. If you’re ready to create space for insight, I invite you to schedule a session or explore more free resources below.
Your Free Gift: A Guide to Creating Safety for Insight
I’ve created a free downloadable guide to help you create an internal space that supports insight and emotional reflection. It’s gentle, powerful, and therapy-informed.
Download your copy here and take the first step toward reconnecting with your inner wisdom.
If this post resonated with you, I’d love to hear what came up. What’s one experience you’ve minimized or disconnected from? Leave a comment below—or better yet, start a conversation with someone you trust.
And if you’re ready to go deeper in your healing, I’m here when you’re ready.
