5 Common Depression Myths That Can Make You Feel Worse—And What Actually Helps
If you’ve ever felt like your depression makes no sense
—or that you should be able to push yourself right through it—you’re not alone. Many of my clients (and I, in my own lived experience) have been told harmful myths about depression that not only miss the mark, but can actually make recovery harder.
I’m Raquel Perez, a licensed therapist in Colorado specializing in trauma-informed therapy, depression and anxiety treatment, and insight-oriented healing. In this post, I’ll walk you through five of the most common depression myths I hear in the therapy room, why they don’t tell the whole story, and what can actually help you find real, lasting relief.
Understanding Depression Through a Trauma-Informed Lens
In mainstream conversations, depression is often reduced to a “thinking problem.” But you can’t logic your way out of a body that feels unsafe. From a nervous system perspective, depression often acts as a protective response—slowing you down when the world feels too dangerous to keep pushing through.
When we start with safety rather than forcing positivity, we create space for your body and mind to reconnect, opening the door to genuine healing.
Myth #1: “You Just Need to Change Your Thoughts”
One of the most common myths about depression is that it’s purely about mindset—just think more positively, and you’ll feel better. But depression is not only in your mind. It often shows up in your body: low energy, disrupted sleep, lack of motivation, even numbness.
From a trauma response perspective, depression is often a “freeze” state—your system’s way of saying it’s not safe to feel right now. Instead of starting with your thoughts, start with safety. Slow down, breathe, and notice how it feels to be here, with as little judgment as possible.
Myth #2: “You Should Be Functioning Just Like Everyone Else”
This myth is especially painful because it’s so quiet. You look around, and everyone else seems to be working, smiling, and functioning—and you feel like you’re failing. But depression slows you down for a reason.
Your body might be saying, there’s too much pain to keep going at this pace. The most compassionate response isn’t to push harder, but to listen. Ask yourself: If my depression had a voice, what would it be trying to protect me from?
Myth #3: “You Have to Wait Until You Feel Better to Start Healing”
Many people believe they need to feel ready, energized, and motivated before starting therapy or making changes. But in my work as a Colorado-based therapist, I’ve seen that healing often begins when you’re just 5% more open—not 100% ready.
That openness might look like small shifts: taking a shower, making your bed, or stepping outside for fresh air. These actions might seem insignificant compared to what others are doing, but they are powerful markers of progress. Celebrate them.
Myth #4: “Depression Is Only a Chemical Imbalance”
Yes, biology plays a role in depression. But so do your lived experiences—trauma, grief, unmet needs, and relational stress all shape how safe your nervous system feels.
Medication can be an important part of treatment, but it’s not the only path. In insight-oriented therapy, we explore the root causes of your depression so those hidden parts of your story can be seen and understood. Depression is rarely random—it’s often linked to something that deeply matters.
Myth #5: “You Just Need More Self-Care”
Self-care has become a buzzword, and while lighting a candle or taking a bath can be lovely, these actions often fall flat if you’re feeling shut down or dissociated.
What you really need is attuned care—care that feels real to your body right now. That might be drinking water, sitting in silence, saying “no” to something, or pressing your forehead to a cool wall. Real self-care asks: What does my system need to feel just one breath more okay?
Depression Is Not a Personal Failure
If you are living with depression right now, hear this: You are not broken. Your body might be saying, I’m overwhelmed. I need rest. I need care. I need to be heard.
When we slow down, listen, and create safety, something beautiful happens: we find insight. And through that insight, healing happens—not the quick-fix kind, but the kind that allows you to truly return to yourself.
How I Help Clients Heal from Depression
In my practice, Intima Couples and Sex Therapy PLLC, I work with individuals and couples throughout Colorado who are navigating depression, anxiety, trauma, and relationship challenges. My approach blends trauma-informed care, somatic awareness, and insight-oriented therapy to help you understand your depression and reclaim your life.
If you’re feeling stuck, numb, or overwhelmed, we can work together to create the safety you need to heal.
Take the Next Step Toward Healing
🌿 Free Resource: Download my guide Sacred Spaces: Creating Safety for Emotional Insight and start making space for healing at home:
🎧 Try This Meditation: Listen to my guided meditation to connect with what your depression might be trying to tell you:
💬 Let’s Connect: If you’re in Colorado and ready for support, you can learn more or schedule your first session here
