Learning to Receive Love | Healing Beyond Fear
Have you ever noticed how hard it can be when love tries to reach you?
Not because you don’t want it.
Not because you don’t care.
But because something in your body tightens first.
Maybe you freeze.
Maybe you shut down.
Maybe you tell yourself everything is fine while something inside you aches for attention.
Learning to receive love is one of the most tender — and most challenging — parts of healing.
As a licensed therapist, Founder of Intima Couples and Sex Therapy PLLC in Lakewood, Colorado, and creator of Everyday Therapy, I see this pattern often in my work with adults and couples navigating depression, anxiety, relationship struggles, sexual disconnection, and trauma. And I’ve also witnessed it in myself.
This week in my personal healing journey, I saw a long-standing freeze response begin to soften. And in that softening, something new became possible: I allowed love to reach me.
Understanding the Freeze Response
When life feels overwhelming, our nervous system moves into protection.
For some people, that looks like anxiety or hyperactivation.
For others, it looks like withdrawal, numbness, or shutting down.
For me, it has often looked like freezing.
The freeze response is not weakness. It is protection. It is the body’s way of saying, “This feels too big. I don’t know how to handle this.”
In my therapy practice at Intima Couples and Sex Therapy PLLC, I often help clients understand that their shutdown patterns are intelligent adaptations. Your body learned how to survive.
But survival isn’t the same as connection.
And healing asks us to gently notice when protection is no longer serving us.
Choosing Love Instead of Protection
This week, I had a moment with my son that revealed something important.
He has been navigating a struggle of his own. As I watched him, I felt that familiar pit in my stomach — the tightening, the urge to freeze and pretend everything was okay.
In the past, I might have avoided it.
But this time, I paused.
I noticed my body.
I noticed the fear.
I noticed the ache beneath it — love.
Instead of shutting down, I walked toward him. I shared my concern and my care.
And something shifted.
The tension softened. The conversation was brief, but real. Grounded. Heartfelt.
It didn’t feel forced. It felt natural. Safe.
That moment reminded me: receiving love often begins by offering it honestly.
Repairing Rupture in Relationship
In my romantic relationship, we recently revisited a rupture — a moment when both of our protections came online at the same time.
In the past, this would have sent me spiraling into defensiveness or withdrawal.
But healing work changes how we show up.
Instead of shutting down, I stayed grounded. I acknowledged where my defenses were rising. We returned to a shared agreement we’ve built intentionally: when activation increases, we pause. We regulate. And we return to repair.
This is something I teach couples in relationship therapy and sex therapy: rupture is inevitable. Repair is intentional.
When we build emotional safety — in couples therapy, individual therapy, or ketamine-assisted psychotherapy integration — we create space for love to be received rather than defended against.
Choosing connection instead of protection is not about perfection.
It’s about awareness.
Inner Child Healing and Worthiness
After yoga one morning, I checked in with my inner child.
She appeared quickly — soft, smiling, present.
I told her she is worthy. Beautiful. Important. Loved.
And in that moment, I realized something:
If we cannot receive love from ourselves, it is nearly impossible to receive it from others.
Inner child work is powerful because it addresses the early roots of freeze and protection. In both traditional therapy and Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP), many clients reconnect with younger parts of themselves that learned to survive through bracing or emotional withdrawal.
At Intima Couples and Sex Therapy PLLC, ketamine-assisted psychotherapy is offered as a carefully supported therapeutic process — including preparation and integration sessions — to help clients access insight with greater openness and reduced defensiveness. Many individuals experiencing depression, anxiety, or relational trauma find that ketamine therapy creates a window where emotional rigidity softens and self-compassion becomes more accessible.
Receiving love is not just relational. It is intrapersonal.
It begins within.
Why Receiving Love Feels So Hard
Receiving love requires openness.
Openness requires safety.
And safety is something many of us did not consistently experience in early life or past relationships.
If you live with anxiety, depression, relational trauma, sexual disconnection, or emotional neglect, your nervous system may default to protection rather than connection.
You might:
Freeze during difficult conversations
Feel numb during intimacy
Struggle to accept compliments or support
Pull away when someone moves closer
Feel overwhelmed by vulnerability
Nothing is wrong with you.
Your body learned to protect you.
But healing — whether through individual therapy, couples therapy, sex therapy, or ketamine-assisted psychotherapy — gently teaches your nervous system that connection can be safe.
And over time, the freeze loosens.
The Role of Safety in Healing
At Intima Couples and Sex Therapy PLLC in Lakewood, serving the Denver Metro area and clients virtually throughout Colorado, safety is foundational.
Safety in your body.
Safety in your relationships.
Safety in your emotional world.
When safety increases:
Defenses soften
Emotional regulation improves
Communication deepens
Sexual intimacy becomes more connected
Insight expands
Love becomes receivable
This is why I created my free booklet, Sacred Spaces: Creating Safety for Insight. Healing does not happen through force. It happens through gentleness.
One soft moment at a time.
A Reflection for You
Where are you learning to receive love?
Maybe you noticed yourself pausing instead of shutting down.
Maybe you reached out instead of retreating.
Maybe you spoke a truth you once hid.
Maybe you offered yourself grace.
These are not small shifts.
They are the foundation of healing.
If you are navigating depression, anxiety, relationship rupture, intimacy challenges, or the lingering effects of trauma, you do not have to do it alone.
I offer in-person therapy in Lakewood, serving the Denver Metro area, and virtual therapy throughout Colorado. As the Founder of Intima Couples and Sex Therapy PLLC, I specialize in:
Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP)
Relationship and couples therapy
Sex therapy
Depression and anxiety treatment
Trauma-informed care
Nervous system and inner child work
Healing is rarely dramatic. It is often subtle.
A softening.
A pause.
A conversation that feels different than it used to.
And sometimes, it is simply this:
Letting love reach you — without freezing.
