Burnout Isn’t Just Overwork: The Hidden Causes You’re Probably Missing
By Raquel Perez, LPC | Everyday Therapy | Intima Counseling
We tend to think of burnout as the result of working too many hours or not getting enough sleep.
But in my work as a licensed therapist in Colorado, and from my own personal experience, I’ve learned that burnout is rarely just about a busy schedule. It's deeper. It's more emotional. And it's more common than you think.
In this post, I want to share what burnout really is, what it often hides beneath the surface, and what you can do about it. These are therapy-informed insights drawn from my own healing journey and from my work with clients in individual therapy, couples therapy, and sex therapy.
What Burnout Really Feels Like
Burnout is emotional and physical exhaustion that makes it hard to function in day-to-day life. You may feel:
Drained, even after a full night's sleep
Numb or disconnected from your purpose
Overwhelmed by even small tasks
Irritable, anxious, or unmotivated
Dreading Mondays—even if you “like” your job
Sound familiar? You’re not alone. Burnout is a modern epidemic, especially among caregivers, professionals, parents, and people who give a lot of themselves to others.
But here's what most people don’t realize: burnout is often caused by misalignment, lack of emotional safety, and undervaluing your own needs.
My Story with Burnout: When “The Dream Job” Isn’t Enough
Before I became a therapist, I worked as a health educator at a family planning clinic in Denver. I was counseling clients on contraception, STI testing, and sexual health—important work that I believed in deeply. I had earned my degree while raising three children as a single mother, and this was the job I thought I had been working toward.
But after a few years, something shifted. I started coming home feeling lifeless.
My 8-hour days felt like 14-hour marathons.
I wasn’t just tired. I was emotionally depleted.
And that’s when I realized: I wasn’t burning out because I was working too many hours. I was burning out because I was misaligned.
Emotional Exhaustion: The Hidden Core of Burnout
Emotional exhaustion is a deep depletion that happens when you’re constantly giving to others without replenishing yourself. It’s common in therapists, teachers, healthcare workers, parents, and people who tend to people-please.
In my therapy practice at Intima Counseling in Lakewood, Colorado, I often hear clients say:
“I don’t even know why I’m so tired—I haven’t done that much today.”
That’s because burnout doesn’t always show up on your calendar.
It shows up in your body, your mood, and your sense of self-worth.
Boundaries, People-Pleasing, and Saying “No”
One of the biggest contributors to burnout is lack of boundaries. You say yes to too many things, show up for everyone else,
and leave yourself running on empty.
This was true for me—and it’s true for so many of my clients. One in particular said yes to every work request, every family obligation, and every favor. Eventually, he didn’t even recognize himself anymore. He was anxious, irritable, and deeply disconnected.
Learning to say “no” is one of the most powerful steps in healing burnout. But it’s also one of the hardest. Especially if you're afraid of disappointing others or if you've been conditioned to believe your worth comes from being “useful.”
When You’re Misaligned with Your Purpose
Here’s something we don’t talk about enough: you can be doing good work and still be completely out of alignment.
That was true for me. My job was meaningful, but it didn’t fully align with my deeper purpose. I realized that my heart wasn’t in public health education—it was in helping people heal from the inside out. That’s when I began the journey to become a therapist.
When your work or life doesn’t align with your core values, it’s only a matter of time before burnout hits. Therapy can help you reconnect with what truly matters to you—and how to live in alignment with it.
Chronic Stress and the Invisible Weight We Carry
Many of us are carrying chronic stress without realizing it. It builds up in the body, layer by layer
-until it shows up as headaches, fatigue, muscle tension, sleep problems, or panic attacks.
In therapy, we call this somatic accumulation. Your nervous system is overloaded, and you’re stuck in a state of fight, flight, or freeze.
That’s why I center my work around emotional safety. You don’t just need time off—you need to feel safe enough to slow down and process what you’re holding inside.
4 Therapist-Backed Strategies for Healing from Burnout
Here’s what helped me—and what I teach my clients:
1. Set Boundaries with Compassion
Start small. Say no to one thing that drains your energy. You can be kind and firm at the same time.
2. Reconnect With Your Purpose
Ask: What truly matters to me? Even if your job can’t change right away, your perspective can.
3. Acknowledge Your Self-Worth
You are valuable even when you rest. Your worth is not measured by your output.
4. Create Emotional Safety
Whether it’s through therapy, journaling, or meditation, give yourself safe spaces to feel, reflect, and heal.
You Deserve to Feel Whole Again
Burnout isn’t a personal failure. It’s a sign that something deeper needs attention. Whether it's emotional exhaustion, chronic stress, people-pleasing, or misalignment with your purpose, you can come back to yourself. And you don’t have to do it alone.
As a therapist, I work with individuals across Colorado to help them heal from burnout, anxiety, and depression. Together, we create the emotional safety needed to explore what’s really going on—and to find new, life-giving ways forward.
🌿 Want to Take the First Step?
Download my free guide:
📥 Create Emotional Safety: A Guided Resource for Insight & Healing
This resource is designed to help you begin listening to your body, reconnect with your needs, and start healing from burnout—one step at a time.
Raquel Perez, LPC
Licensed Therapist | Intima Counseling | Lakewood, CO
Specializing in burnout recovery, anxiety therapy, relationship counseling, sex therapy, and ketamine-assisted therapy
🧘 Watch more therapy-informed content on YouTube @RaquelPerez.Intima
📍Serving clients in person in Lakewood and virtually throughout Colorado
